Does smacking your child work? 5 Tips that do work

Just read a great post on why smacking doesn’t work!

http://raisethem.com/why-smacking-doesnt-work/comment-page-1/#comment-9  

I couldn’t agree more! Isn’t it amazing how some parents can smack their child and at the same time say “You are not to smack another child” boggles the mind for sure. I do know that kids can push you to your limits and you sometimes “feel” like smacking them! But, as an adult who should know better you don’t! That is when you need a time out to get your emotions in tact and find a better way to deal with the situation at hand. It really reminded me as an early childhood educator how some people who didn’t understand child development really thought this concept was a good one!
I do know you need a ton of patience, love, and some ideas in your pocket .

Here are 5 tips that should give you some ideas:
1.giving choices – Sometimes it’s as easy as this. You can ask your child which color shirt would they like to wear today (both choices being one you wouldn’t mind) the green or the blue? Do you want broccoli or asparagus? You get the point. Giving choices allows the child to have some say in what they would like.
2.allowing time to get things done or transitioned most children like to be told a few minutes ahead of time when something will be ending, changing, going somewhere etc. They need time to get ready for this transition. You can say, ” Carly, in ten minutes we will be cleaning up your toys and going outside.” This allows them ten more minutes to finish up what they are in the middle of and get ready for this transition. Giving your child time to put on his/her shoes, gather their things or whatever is also something to consider. Children will most likely take a longer time to do something than we can do it. Give them time, it is worth it in the end.
3.Acknowledging feelings Children have a myriad of feelings just like we do, but sometimes they do not understand them. To acknowledge them and give them a voice or words to go along with these feelings is a great help. ” Did you feel scared?” ” That hurt you!”  ”I see you are upset.”
4.talking kindly and softly Sometimes when your child is talking loudly or acting out by you speaking softly, kindly or whispering in their ear they will follow suit and copy you. Whispering is a great technique to get them to really hear you!
5.watching your own actions as you know they are mirrored I feel this is the most important. Remember, your children want to emulate you , be like you so whatever YOU do they will follow you. Be aware of the words you use, the way you treat others, the way you behave because you will eventually see it in your children.
These are just a few ideas. Any others one can suggest? What do you do when your child/children push your buttons?